I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
