need another drink. this is the easiest way
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
