You can't special order awesome
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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