Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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