also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
