420 ftw
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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