Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
