I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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