I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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