so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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