A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
3pm strippers are depressing
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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