1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
one might say we're banned from that church
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
