Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize