What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
