instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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