I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I look better un-naked...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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