If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
