The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You smell like stripper and shame
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My vagina just clenched in fear
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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