dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
