is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
