am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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