the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
