TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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