Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
