i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
