worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
