True but thats because hes a fetus.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
