im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
