He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize