You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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