i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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