Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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