I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
