but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
