This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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