oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
