Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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