my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
