I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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