you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
