I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
handjob tips. give me some.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
