Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
