i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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