it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
