its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
