Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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