Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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