You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
