but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize