i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
