I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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