she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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