these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize