tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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